Now I love cars, I mean where would we or I be without them (most likely on the bus) but everytime I try to get to work I always seem to get stuck behind a retard driving one of these things.
They are the world's slowest cars. They are so slow in fact that the fastest - yes, the fastest - car in this gallery tops out at a paltry 90mph. And don't even mention the acceleration...
From forgotten sheds like the Vauxhall Nova to modern superminis like the Fiat Panda and 4x4s with plenty of muscle but no might, these are the cars you might find yourself sitting behind on an A-road near you.
1985 Suzuki Swift 1.0 - top speed: 90mph
The irony of it. Suzuki called it the Swift - possibly the least apt name it could have chosen. Anything but swift, this baby Suzuki could manage all of 90mph - and that was on the level. Show it a hill and watch that speed plummet...
1991 Peugeot 106 1.4D - top speed: 90mph
Another car that could manage just 90mph, this diesel edition of Peugeot's smallest car would have felt like it was attempting to break through the sound barrier as v-max approached - although it would probably still achieve 70mpg...
2001 Tata Safari - top speed: 90mph
The thought of driving a Tata Safari at all is one that's too hideous to contemplate, but the very notion of taking one to its 90mph top speed is one that you should just never entertain. Thankfully the few sold here have now disappeared.
2003 Fiat Panda 1.2 - top speed: 90mph
You don't have to go back very far to find a brand new car that could barely top 90mph; the Fiat Panda of 2004 was just such a beast. However, you can't like Fiat's baby any less for its lack of pace, thanks to a wide range of talents.
1998 Daihatsu Sirion - top speed: 90mph
One of those invisible cars that came and went without anyone noticing, the Sirion was a funky little three-pot supermini that was fun to punt along, its engine thrumming away. But a 90mph top speed meant this wasn't for boy racers
1987 Citroen AX 1.4D - top speed: 90mph
It didn't take a lot of power to push a Citroen AX at a decent lick, as the cars weighed little more than an empty *** packet. However, with its 1.4-litre engine, this oil-burning edition of Citroen's smallest car could manage just 90mph.
1983 Vauxhall Nova 1.2 - top speed: 89mph
The car of choice for driving instructors nationwide, the Nova was great for keeping wayward learners in check, as it didn't have the poke to pull the skin off a rice pudding. It couldn't even manage 90mph, as it topped out at 89mph.
1996 Toyota Starlet 1.0 - top speed: 89mph
Another car that was all in by the time it had notched up 89mph, the Starlet was one of the least exceptional cars of its era. In true Toyota style, it refused to stand out from the crowd at all; for many, that was the most appealing thing.
1992 Renault 5 Campus Prima - top speed: 89mph
Because the Clio had arrived by this point, the Campus was a way for Renault to extend the life of its best-selling 5. Made of tin foil and therefore extremely light, the Campus could still manage just 89mph with its 1.1-litre engine.
1991 Kia Pride 1.1 - top speed: 89mph
When you look at the great cars Kia is building now, it's hard to believe that just over a decade ago it was producing tinny little horrors such as this. Sure it was reliable, but the thought of maxing at 89mph in one of these is horrifying.