Login | Register

If you're having login issues, please clear your cookies and cache!

Results 1 to 10 of 22

Thread: Guide to Masturbating | 5 ways for fun | Males |


  1. Konsole Banned

    Join Date Apr 2010

    Posts 1,951

    Membership Banned

    Reputation: 888

    02-03-2011 11:12 AM #1 Guide to Masturbating | 5 ways for fun | Males |

    Masturbating can be boring unless you get creative and figure out at least five best ways to masturbate. Just like sex, sometimes you have to mix it up a bit. OK, so masturbation is not just like sex, but it is necessary. There's no need to spend money on fake vaginas or vibrating tools to get a good go at it. Use these household items to give yourself a great orgasm.

    1]Pillow. Find a pillow you don't like, or that someone you don't like uses to sleep on. Pillows are one of the best ways to masturbate but make sure it is cotton filled, down filled will prick your prick. Now go at it missionary style. The elevation and plushness of the pillow with the hard mattress underneath will help you get off. Try the floor for firmer support. You may also want to try a full body pillow for something to grab on to.

    2]Baggie. Not the kind of baggie you get in the alley behind the bar; a sandwich baggie like the one your mommy used to put your PBJs in. Fill up the baggie with lube, Vaseline works for this best way to masturbate. Put your member inside and squish it around until you're all nice and gooey. Put the baggie, with you in it, between the mattress and box spring. Happy pumping!

    3]Handgina. Most of the best ways to masturbate include using items that will be tight and provide pressure. Lay sideways on the bed and grab it like a rabbit with your knuckles facing the wall. Turn face down pushing your knuckles into the mattress and get to it. Make sure you push your knuckles hard into the bed to get the full effect.

    4]Fruitgasmic. After this you'll look at the grocery store fruit isle in a different way. You may be walking down the produce isle thinking about the best ways to masturbate. Cut a room temperature kiwi fruit and cut it in half. Spoon out and eat the middle on each side but leave 1/4-inch around the sides. Cut off the rounded end on each half. Slip both kiwi rings over your pee-pee and move up and down.

    5]Ribbit, Ribbit. Oh how the texture in a vagina feels so good. Replicate that feeling by turning a ribbed condom inside out. Roll the condom then roll it on inside out. The condom should be lubed enough for that slippery feel, if not add a bit of lube. The ribs on the condom will stimulate your entire penis and feel close to the real thing. This technique can be combined with others to enhance your stimulation, providing another one of the best ways to masturbate.

  2. Ned Flanders's Avatar

    Ned Flanders Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos!

    Join Date Dec 2009

    Posts 960

    Membership Donator

    Reputation: 10419

    02-03-2011 11:16 AM #2

    Quote Originally Posted by Treyarch View Post
    Masturbating can be boring unless you get creative and figure out at least five best ways to masturbate. Just like sex, sometimes you have to mix it up a bit. OK, so masturbation is not just like sex, but it is necessary. There's no need to spend money on fake vaginas or vibrating tools to get a good go at it. Use these household items to give yourself a great orgasm.

    1]Pillow. Find a pillow you don't like, or that someone you don't like uses to sleep on. Pillows are one of the best ways to masturbate but make sure it is cotton filled, down filled will prick your prick. Now go at it missionary style. The elevation and plushness of the pillow with the hard mattress underneath will help you get off. Try the floor for firmer support. You may also want to try a full body pillow for something to grab on to.

    2]Baggie. Not the kind of baggie you get in the alley behind the bar; a sandwich baggie like the one your mommy used to put your PBJs in. Fill up the baggie with lube, Vaseline works for this best way to masturbate. Put your member inside and squish it around until you're all nice and gooey. Put the baggie, with you in it, between the mattress and box spring. Happy pumping!

    3]Handgina. Most of the best ways to masturbate include using items that will be tight and provide pressure. Lay sideways on the bed and grab it like a rabbit with your knuckles facing the wall. Turn face down pushing your knuckles into the mattress and get to it. Make sure you push your knuckles hard into the bed to get the full effect.

    4]Fruitgasmic. After this you'll look at the grocery store fruit isle in a different way. You may be walking down the produce isle thinking about the best ways to masturbate. Cut a room temperature kiwi fruit and cut it in half. Spoon out and eat the middle on each side but leave 1/4-inch around the sides. Cut off the rounded end on each half. Slip both kiwi rings over your pee-pee and move up and down.

    5]Ribbit, Ribbit. Oh how the texture in a vagina feels so good. Replicate that feeling by turning a ribbed condom inside out. Roll the condom then roll it on inside out. The condom should be lubed enough for that slippery feel, if not add a bit of lube. The ribs on the condom will stimulate your entire penis and feel close to the real thing. This technique can be combined with others to enhance your stimulation, providing another one of the best ways to masturbate.
    What people can do more with a pillow instead of sleepingedo:

    You should have put this in premium, LOL no more loggins needed,
    Lets grab a grapefruit!
    Last edited by Ned Flanders; 02-03-2011 at 11:18 AM.
    .Nedward.Ned.Neddy.Nerdy.
    Your neighborino if I helped.
    Spoiler:
    Goal:
    Other name on here was: xXFutureKillXx

  3. Jack! Dee Best!

    Join Date Jun 2009

    Posts 52

    Membership Donator

    Reputation: 508

    02-03-2011 11:18 AM #3

    i couldn't do that to a pillow id fall asleep as soon as i get near it

  4. Knucks Banned

    Join Date Aug 2008

    Posts 1,828

    Membership Banned

    Reputation: 2948

    02-03-2011 11:27 AM #4

    Here's my favorite way:

    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

  5. Join Date Mar 2010

    Posts 2,651

    Membership Donator

    Reputation: 9387

    02-03-2011 11:29 AM #5

    Easier thing is to get off your computer and get laid.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Vaner For This Useful Post:


  7. Konsole Banned

    Join Date Apr 2010

    Posts 1,951

    Membership Banned

    Reputation: 888

    02-03-2011 11:31 AM #6

    Very true Vaner, but remember, nearly a quarter of NGUs population is under 13

  8. Xbox 180's Avatar

    Xbox 180 A.K.A T4SSY

    Join Date Dec 2009

    Posts 1,212

    Membership Elite

    NextGenUpdate Elite Member

    Reputation: 2217

    02-03-2011 11:45 AM #7

    here is the result of it lol [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    Last edited by Xbox 180; 02-03-2011 at 11:48 AM.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Xbox 180 For This Useful Post:


  10. RoYaL-'s Avatar

    RoYaL- MW3 ;)

    Join Date Oct 2010

    Posts 498

    Membership Donator

    Reputation: 296

    02-03-2011 12:14 PM #8

    Lol............................... Woahh............
    Main PSN- RoYaL_iinSaNiiTY

  11. NeedaLifeSoon's Avatar

    NeedaLifeSoon Retired Life

    Join Date Jul 2008

    Posts 5,010

    Membership Elite

    NextGenUpdate Elite Member

    Reputation: 66807

    02-03-2011 03:10 PM #9

    A kiwi :frown:
    Anyone use a watermelon :carling:

    And don't forget to warm your fruit first or you may grow up to become a necrophiliac :wtf:
    Last edited by NeedaLifeSoon; 02-03-2011 at 06:11 PM.
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] ll [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] ll [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to NeedaLifeSoon For This Useful Post:


  13. Join Date

    Posts n/a

    Membership Unregistered / Not Logged In

    Reputation:

    02-03-2011 03:14 PM #10

    Or you could just use your right hand....

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •