Post: English: Revamped.
04-29-2011, 08:29 PM #1
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English

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place... :carling:
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The following 9 users say thank you to Poseidon for this useful post:

aZlan, BlackHayze, Epic?, G59, I_BULLET_I, nakul666, RuffRage, SofaKingDumb, Stub Hero
04-29-2011, 08:32 PM #2
I_BULLET_I
Fcuk Do I Put Here
:FU: I'm not doing that

The following user thanked I_BULLET_I for this useful post:

Poseidon
04-29-2011, 08:39 PM #3
This my friend, is the funniest thread on NGU. Period.

The following 3 users say thank you to RuffRage for this useful post:

Critical Strike, Poseidon, Stub Hero
04-29-2011, 08:50 PM #4
Stub Hero
Laying low low low
Awesome thread

The following user thanked Stub Hero for this useful post:

Poseidon
04-29-2011, 08:54 PM #5
Originally posted by RODNEYTROTTER View Post
This my friend, is the funniest thread on NGU. Period.


Originally posted by Sub
Awesome thread


Thanks guys. Happy
Even though I didn't write it. :// I usually do though.
BUT, half of NGU doesn't write their own threads. :p
The other half, I applaud you.
05-01-2011, 02:48 PM #6
SU44K8
Suffocate
:wtf: is this?
05-01-2011, 03:29 PM #7
Winning
Former Staff
I liek my American accent tho.
05-01-2011, 03:39 PM #8
Vegetᶏ
Freddy Krueger
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It's So Funny! :y:
05-01-2011, 03:45 PM #9
ⒿⒺⒷⓇⓄ
At least I can fight
This so funny and awsome thread.
05-01-2011, 03:52 PM #10
That was good, I actually laughed at that, which is rare for me to do at online articles, congratulation sir.

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