Post: IT Helpdesk Issues
07-02-2011, 02:04 PM #1
DEREKTROTTER
You're Goddamn Right
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...
[B]===============[/B]

Customer: Hi, this is Mary. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....

[B]===============[/B]
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

[B]===============[/B]

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


[B]===============[/B]

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

[B]============== [/B]

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

[B]===============[/B]

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

[B]===============[/B]

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


[B]===============[/B]

Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

[B]=============[/B]

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

[B]===============[/B]

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

[B]===============[/B]

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

[B]===============[/B]

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

[B]===============[/B]

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

[B]===============[/B]

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
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The following 12 users say thank you to DEREKTROTTER for this useful post:

Gaia, .JiampyPotter, Chronos, DR-Dizzy, El Violador, Epic?, marrcc, PatriotsFan342, SystemErrorApps, The1TheOnly, Tuhoaja, XxprokillahxX

The following 6 users groaned at DEREKTROTTER for this awful post:

--Ben-, .RAMBO, Solo, TairyHesticles, Winning
07-02-2011, 03:00 PM #2
Chronos
Chronos, The God Of Time
I really wouldn't care less if this was copy or pasted. It's just plain funny:lol:
And it would be kind of pointless to rewrite everything wouldn't it?
07-02-2011, 03:38 PM #3
Winning
Former Staff
Originally posted by DEREKTROTTER View Post


i didn't get from there, i got from a warez forum - didn't see why a source was necessary

its quite sad how things have got


It's like this. Say rep is actual money. You would be earning money from something you didn't create, and you're basically stating it's yours by not putting a source. That's why in real life, people have copyrights.
07-02-2011, 03:42 PM #4
DEREKTROTTER
You're Goddamn Right
Originally posted by Winning View Post
It's like this. Say rep is actual money. You would be earning money from something you didn't create, and you're basically stating it's yours by not putting a source. That's why in real life, people have copyrights.


Well there was no source on the site i got it from, they got it from somewhere. Tbh you can't compare virtual points to money
source: DEREKTROTTER
07-02-2011, 03:43 PM #5
Winning
Former Staff
Originally posted by DEREKTROTTER View Post
Well there was no source on the site i got it from, they got it from somewhere. Tbh you can't compare virtual points to money
source: DEREKTROTTER

Ignorance. You got it.
07-02-2011, 03:47 PM #6
DEREKTROTTER
You're Goddamn Right
well its fine by me, i'm just never gonna post on here again

never got any appreciation, and i helped this site a lot

The following 3 users say thank you to DEREKTROTTER for this useful post:

Extrazior, I_BULLET_I, The Low Key OG

The following user groaned DEREKTROTTER for this awful post:

JakeM
07-02-2011, 03:52 PM #7
Originally posted by DEREKTROTTER View Post
well its fine by me, i'm just never gonna post on here again

never got any appreciation, and i helped this site a lot


You were popular a few months ago, now nobody knows who you are. :lol:

Just look at you're rep...f***en' amazing!

The following user groaned Dubzzy for this awful post:

420
07-02-2011, 03:58 PM #8
Chronos
Chronos, The God Of Time
Originally posted by DEREKTROTTER View Post
well its fine by me, i'm just never gonna post on here again

never got any appreciation, and i helped this site a lot


Dude really, you're leaving just because one guy told you to post a source?
07-02-2011, 04:04 PM #9
DEREKTROTTER
You're Goddamn Right
Originally posted by Chronos View Post
Dude really, you're leaving just because one guy told you to post a source?


its not just that, i try to help the site and get flamed. Not something you expect to come from a member of staff. I will pop in now and again but i wont be posting/contributing anything anymore.
07-02-2011, 04:06 PM #10
Chronos
Chronos, The God Of Time
Originally posted by DEREKTROTTER View Post
its not just that, i try to help the site and get flamed. Not something you expect to come from a member of staff. I will pop in now and again but i wont be posting/contributing anything anymore.


Thats sad to hear man. You were one of my role models here on NGU to become more active.
And aren't you exaggerating a little? You have gotten so much appreciation from members.

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