(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Yeah, I'm probably being an arse again to a lot of people and it's about time I addressed this... my time on NGU has largely been a way for me to vent and de-stress but recently I've taken this to extremes. Back in September last year I wrote a thread telling people about my problems and apologising for being short tempered (You must login or register to view this content.). I couldn't imagine how much more stressful it would become for me over the coming months. Still, people seemed very supportive and despite the often unfair way I treat the NGU community, you where all very kind and patient.

I suppose this is another apology in many respects, but I hate apologising because it often feels forced, I prefer to explain. I'd rather people understood why I've been treating them like crap rather than simply forgive me because I ask them to. So I want to explain myself, but there's more after that, don't worry, I'm not going to post this every few months or anything.

For those who weren't around for the first thread, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. This condition is a genetic cologen deficiency dissorder. It's untreatable, degenerative, chronic and incurable. It's extremely likely that this condition will kill me, probably before I reach 50 years old. The condition causes, just to name a few; chronic pain, repetitive joint dislocations, brittle bones, blindness, strokes/anuerisms/heart attacks, kidney failure, bladder failure, reaccuring migraines, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, irregular body temperature, and seizures... and there's probably more problems that it causes that doctors have yet to discover.

Last year, as I was coming to terms with the rapid degeneration of my condition, I mention that I moved in with my parents temporarily, it's been over 2 years now and I'm still living with them. I've been out of college for over a year and unemployed the entire time. Because of this I've been forced onto "unemployement programs" because I've been claiming benefits for too long, most of which I can't do which means I have to fight to even get benefit entitlements.

My worries are largely the same now as they where before, but moreso. I'll be 26 in a few weeks, yet I'm still unemployed, directionless, living with my parents, and still single (as I never leave the house). I'll probably still be in a wheelchair by the time I'm 30 which means I'm counting the time for which I can still walk in months rather than years. Since the last thread I've started recieveing Physiotherapy and I'm seeing a Consultant and Dietician to try and extend the usefulness of my body and that's at least something.

Unfortunately the last 5 months have been horrible for me as my body had pretty much given up. My pain levels have skyrocketted and I'm now taking painkillers every few hours just to keep from screaming and crying, waking up in the middle of the night, on the few nights I do sleep to take more pain meds and bathe the most painful joints in the bathroom until the burning goes away. Walking has become so difficult for me that I can only really make it to the end of the block, without buses, trains etc. I would be housebound, and I usually have to use taxis to get inbetween. I'm suffering 3-5 dislocations per DAY now, often days are so bad that I only get out of bed to use the toilet. As you can imagine this made me extremely frustrated and I took it out on everyone.

I joined the Media Team here and before I'd even made any videos I'd snapped at half the moderators just because they where there, at the same time I've complained endlessly that NGU isn't the gaming site I want it to be because I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I felt a need to control something. I couldn't control my life, my pain, anything really... so I tried to control NGU, and when that didn't work and my distraction failed to be my stress ball, I started to lash out at everyone. I've been in a very dark place, and NGU was something I could pretend to focus on instead of focusing on my problems.

But there's light at the end of the tunnel. I've been put on some new pain medication, strong stuff. I'm recieving proper help with Physiotherapy, Nutrition help, Consultations etc. and most importantly, today I was signed off the work register indefinately by my doctor and I've been deemed unfit for work. This means no more fighting for benefits, no more applying for jobs I can't do and stressing. I'll soon be recieving ESA and Disability Allowence which is a fair bit more than basic Job Seekers benefits. It's not ideal but it's a good step for me. It means I can relax, I no longer have to look for work, and go to silly placements every week, I can concentrate of dealing with my condition and hopefully getting better emotionally at the very least.

It's been very hard for me, but I think things are improving for me. Sure my pain is increasing. As I type this my shoulders are seperating and I've just dislocated my colar bone, it will probably be extremely painful all night, but I can manage... and hopeful now that I have a little control back in my life, I can accept NGU for what it should have always have been. A little escapism and a community I can go to for a chat occationally. Does this mean I don't want a big retro games and Nintendo section? Hell no, I'd love that, but it's not what this community is about and I can't really force that. If it happens over time great, but I should expect to control things just because I'm having issues, and I see how my projecting has been rather trying on NGU.

I want to thank you all for the patience you've shown me, particularly the mods/admin who have honestly been far more reasonable than I give them credit for. I can't promise that I'll change. Whenever I'm on NGU I'll likely either be in excruciating amounts of pain, or high as a kite on pain meds, but I'll at least try to be reasonable and I'll try to keep my anger and passion for the debate section at least and hopefully people will say "Oh ffs, TC's being an arse again", just a little less, but probably not.

Thank you all again for listening, NGU has been quite the emotional outlet for me over the last year. I couldn't have done it without you.

wow. I didn't think you had that. I think I speak for all of us on NGU so I hope you can get your pain levels down again and I hope you get better.

TC is the most militant atheist you'll find, totally not the best words to use there, even if the sentiment was nice.

*arse

:lol:

lul my bad. *edits post*

Don't worry about it, I'm not expecting everyone to be aware of details, the sentiment was ment as a nice gesture and that's how it was taken.

Sorry :/
Feel better. Lett off the steam

Originally posted by TornadoCreator

Yeah, I'm probably being an arse again to a lot of people and it's about time I addressed this... my time on NGU has largely been a way for me to vent and de-stress but recently I've taken this to extremes. Back in September last year I wrote a thread telling people about my problems and apologising for being short tempered (You must login or register to view this content.). I couldn't imagine how much more stressful it would become for me over the coming months. Still, people seemed very supportive and despite the often unfair way I treat the NGU community, you where all very kind and patient.

I suppose this is another apology in many respects, but I hate apologising because it often feels forced, I prefer to explain. I'd rather people understood why I've been treating them like crap rather than simply forgive me because I ask them to. So I want to explain myself, but there's more after that, don't worry, I'm not going to post this every few months or anything.

For those who weren't around for the first thread, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. This condition is a genetic cologen deficiency dissorder. It's untreatable, degenerative, chronic and incurable. It's extremely likely that this condition will kill me, probably before I reach 50 years old. The condition causes, just to name a few; chronic pain, repetitive joint dislocations, brittle bones, blindness, strokes/anuerisms/heart attacks, kidney failure, bladder failure, reaccuring migraines, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, irregular body temperature, and seizures... and there's probably more problems that it causes that doctors have yet to discover.

Last year, as I was coming to terms with the rapid degeneration of my condition, I mention that I moved in with my parents temporarily, it's been over 2 years now and I'm still living with them. I've been out of college for over a year and unemployed the entire time. Because of this I've been forced onto "unemployement programs" because I've been claiming benefits for too long, most of which I can't do which means I have to fight to even get benefit entitlements.

My worries are largely the same now as they where before, but moreso. I'll be 26 in a few weeks, yet I'm still unemployed, directionless, living with my parents, and still single (as I never leave the house). I'll probably still be in a wheelchair by the time I'm 30 which means I'm counting the time for which I can still walk in months rather than years. Since the last thread I've started recieveing Physiotherapy and I'm seeing a Consultant and Dietician to try and extend the usefulness of my body and that's at least something.

Unfortunately the last 5 months have been horrible for me as my body had pretty much given up. My pain levels have skyrocketted and I'm now taking painkillers every few hours just to keep from screaming and crying, waking up in the middle of the night, on the few nights I do sleep to take more pain meds and bathe the most painful joints in the bathroom until the burning goes away. Walking has become so difficult for me that I can only really make it to the end of the block, without buses, trains etc. I would be housebound, and I usually have to use taxis to get inbetween. I'm suffering 3-5 dislocations per DAY now, often days are so bad that I only get out of bed to use the toilet. As you can imagine this made me extremely frustrated and I took it out on everyone.

I joined the Media Team here and before I'd even made any videos I'd snapped at half the moderators just because they where there, at the same time I've complained endlessly that NGU isn't the gaming site I want it to be because I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I felt a need to control something. I couldn't control my life, my pain, anything really... so I tried to control NGU, and when that didn't work and my distraction failed to be my stress ball, I started to lash out at everyone. I've been in a very dark place, and NGU was something I could pretend to focus on instead of focusing on my problems.

But there's light at the end of the tunnel. I've been put on some new pain medication, strong stuff. I'm recieving proper help with Physiotherapy, Nutrition help, Consultations etc. and most importantly, today I was signed off the work register indefinately by my doctor and I've been deemed unfit for work. This means no more fighting for benefits, no more applying for jobs I can't do and stressing. I'll soon be recieving ESA and Disability Allowence which is a fair bit more than basic Job Seekers benefits. It's not ideal but it's a good step for me. It means I can relax, I no longer have to look for work, and go to silly placements every week, I can concentrate of dealing with my condition and hopefully getting better emotionally at the very least.

It's been very hard for me, but I think things are improving for me. Sure my pain is increasing. As I type this my shoulders are seperating and I've just dislocated my colar bone, it will probably be extremely painful all night, but I can manage... and hopeful now that I have a little control back in my life, I can accept NGU for what it should have always have been. A little escapism and a community I can go to for a chat occationally. Does this mean I don't want a big retro games and Nintendo section? Hell no, I'd love that, but it's not what this community is about and I can't really force that. If it happens over time great, but I should expect to control things just because I'm having issues, and I see how my projecting has been rather trying on NGU.

I want to thank you all for the patience you've shown me, particularly the mods/admin who have honestly been far more reasonable than I give them credit for. I can't promise that I'll change. Whenever I'm on NGU I'll likely either be in excruciating amounts of pain, or high as a kite on pain meds, but I'll at least try to be reasonable and I'll try to keep my anger and passion for the debate section at least and hopefully people will say "Oh ffs, TC's being an arse again", just a little less, but probably not.

Thank you all again for listening, NGU has been quite the emotional outlet for me over the last year. I couldn't have done it without you.

Dude, I dont know where to start. It sounds so painful. And, im sure everyone here understands that you need to let out some steam. Im sure almost everyone here would have been annoyed when there in pain, and taken it out on something/someone. Just, I know if I was in your place, I would have been hell of a lot worse than you, I probably would of been banned within a week!
I hope that a cure is around the corner, and wish you the best of luck with everything. Stick with it dude, I cant tell you how I think about this, it sounds unreal.
+3-5 dislocations a day, thats sounds incredibly painful!
Best of luck dude, and remember. People are there for you, and us guys have your back! :y:

Dude, i haven't got any idea how much your in pain right now just to be on ngu, but i would like to thank you for even having NGU on your mind. I hope the best for you :happycry:

I have to admit that you have been a good member.
You have generally shown a real interest in the site and most suggestions have been made out of genuine concern in expanding the site's membership and interests.

I enjoy reading your posts and threads and can only imagine the time you spend making them. ( Lord knows how long it can take to read some of them)

You have been a positive addition to the debate section and have helped move that section to a more legitimate debate forum than it has been in the past.

I'm glad to see you acknowledge that your wit has been a little sharp at times lately, but I know that you really do like NGU and most of it's membership.

I hope you continue to contribute to the site and in places other than just the debate section.