Post: My Fiance and I Broke Up
09-12-2012, 03:56 PM #1
iChris
Little One
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Last night my fiance and myself broke up, permanently. We've had so many issues in the past and tried to work through it but in reality we only temporarily hid it. We've been speaking a fair bit today mainly on my part because I can't let go just like that. I've been an emotional wreck since the break up and I don't know what to think or do. I guess I'm really posting here looking for some friendly advice or tips on how to cope with this kind of dilemma. She's coming over tonight to get some of her things and to see me, mainly because I've asked to see her due to the last time I seen her it wasn't exactly nice or something nice to remember her by nor for her to remember me by. I've got a lot of personal issues, from reading online to taking advice from family and so forth I can only presume I'm bipolar or majorly depressed, something is definitely wrong. She also told me that maybe after a year or so she'd reconsider ending it and begin another relationship. I think she's saying that not to hurt my feelings because after that length of time I'll have loosened up a bit and be less emotional and such. I just can't stop thinking about all of the little things we share together, looking at her clothes around the house and generally everything I look at has some resemblance to a time we spent together.

I know I can't remain in constant contact with her because in the long-run it makes it much harder to deal with and get over or move on. But I just feel I want to be speaking to her non-stop, she knows how to make me feel better and calm me down, where-as when I speak to my mum or anyone else in my family they're not too keen on expressing a sympathetic opinion or anything, and, I know that perhaps that's better for me; it'd be nice for every now and then for someone to care just a little bit extra.

I've got no family down here (England), all of my family live in Scotland but I moved down here primarily to begin a new life, with my now-ex. I want to remain here, I have a flat and a decent job, although I'm going to be :fa: I just need support from anyone and from anywhere, hence this post.

Please don't troll.
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09-12-2012, 04:31 PM #2
Jakob
[move]Enzo[/move]
Originally posted by iChris View Post
Last night my fiance and myself broke up, permanently. We've had so many issues in the past and tried to work through it but in reality we only temporarily hid it. We've been speaking a fair bit today mainly on my part because I can't let go just like that. I've been an emotional wreck since the break up and I don't know what to think or do. I guess I'm really posting here looking for some friendly advice or tips on how to cope with this kind of dilemma. She's coming over tonight to get some of her things and to see me, mainly because I've asked to see her due to the last time I seen her it wasn't exactly nice or something nice to remember her by nor for her to remember me by. I've got a lot of personal issues, from reading online to taking advice from family and so forth I can only presume I'm bipolar or majorly depressed, something is definitely wrong. She also told me that maybe after a year or so she'd reconsider ending it and begin another relationship. I think she's saying that not to hurt my feelings because after that length of time I'll have loosened up a bit and be less emotional and such. I just can't stop thinking about all of the little things we share together, looking at her clothes around the house and generally everything I look at has some resemblance to a time we spent together.

I know I can't remain in constant contact with her because in the long-run it makes it much harder to deal with and get over or move on. But I just feel I want to be speaking to her non-stop, she knows how to make me feel better and calm me down, where-as when I speak to my mum or anyone else in my family they're not too keen on expressing a sympathetic opinion or anything, and, I know that perhaps that's better for me; it'd be nice for every now and then for someone to care just a little bit extra.

I've got no family down here (England), all of my family live in Scotland but I moved down here primarily to begin a new life, with my now-ex. I want to remain here, I have a flat and a decent job, although I'm going to be :fa: I just need support from anyone and from anywhere, hence this post.

Please don't troll.


You're situation sucks but you gotta make the best of it. Who knows, maybe you guys will end up getting back together again somewhere down the road. Keep your head up tho, and expect people to shit on you on here. Not the best place to vent IMO Winky Winky
09-12-2012, 04:33 PM #3
welliegs
Who’s Jim Erased?
derp derp
09-12-2012, 04:41 PM #4
Bichote
Former Staff
Good Luck :fa:
09-12-2012, 04:47 PM #5
iChris
Little One
I appreciate both of your comments, I will in time start to venture out and do new things, the first day is a bit soon I think. I've just spoken with her two mins ago, she doesn't want this any more than I do but thinks we'd be better off as friends if nothing else. I'm beginning to accept it, I know I can only take each day as it comes but I wish I knew as the days went on I'd feel better. As for the bipolar, I'm going to the docs in 10 mins for meds and preferrably a psychiatrist referral or to some sort of counselling session. I really just want to get my life back on track for myself, my family and (my ex is called Katie) Katie. I owe her at least that much, to show her I can stand on my own two feet and take responsibility for myself, perhaps then, PERHAPS my future will be bright. I know these changes won't happen in a week or even 4 months but as long as it happens at some point I can put my mind to rest for once.
09-12-2012, 05:37 PM #6
-Luke
Former Staff
Originally posted by iChris View Post
Last night my fiance and myself broke up, permanently. We've had so many issues in the past and tried to work through it but in reality we only temporarily hid it. We've been speaking a fair bit today mainly on my part because I can't let go just like that. I've been an emotional wreck since the break up and I don't know what to think or do. I guess I'm really posting here looking for some friendly advice or tips on how to cope with this kind of dilemma. She's coming over tonight to get some of her things and to see me, mainly because I've asked to see her due to the last time I seen her it wasn't exactly nice or something nice to remember her by nor for her to remember me by. I've got a lot of personal issues, from reading online to taking advice from family and so forth I can only presume I'm bipolar or majorly depressed, something is definitely wrong. She also told me that maybe after a year or so she'd reconsider ending it and begin another relationship. I think she's saying that not to hurt my feelings because after that length of time I'll have loosened up a bit and be less emotional and such. I just can't stop thinking about all of the little things we share together, looking at her clothes around the house and generally everything I look at has some resemblance to a time we spent together.

I know I can't remain in constant contact with her because in the long-run it makes it much harder to deal with and get over or move on. But I just feel I want to be speaking to her non-stop, she knows how to make me feel better and calm me down, where-as when I speak to my mum or anyone else in my family they're not too keen on expressing a sympathetic opinion or anything, and, I know that perhaps that's better for me; it'd be nice for every now and then for someone to care just a little bit extra.

I've got no family down here (England), all of my family live in Scotland but I moved down here primarily to begin a new life, with my now-ex. I want to remain here, I have a flat and a decent job, although I'm going to be :fa: I just need support from anyone and from anywhere, hence this post.

Please don't troll.


Chris,

I am sorry to hear about your loss bud, I truly am, and I do wish the very best for you. Now, I am not going to say "I know how you feel" because personally, I hate it when people say that because they DON'T know how I feel at all. Every single person that exist on this world has different emotions and different feelings for each other. I can understand what you're going through, and I know it sucks Chris. I have been in the same type of situation before, and believe me, moving on is the hardest thing about relation ships in my opinion and I seriously truly think it is.

Chris, most of us all have went through some kind of tough relationship in our lives, rather it be losing a family member, fighting with family, friends, spouses, etc. They all suck and it hurts, we all know this because we have almost ALL been through it bud.

What your going through sounds like a thing lots of people call "depression" and that's mostly where you are always feeling alone, bored, sad, upset, and even in some cases, angry. Some cases turn out to be severe and cause thoughts of suicidal, hurting yourself, or harming even others. This is where it gets dangerous, but I really hope your not going through that stage of depression.

Some people seek help for these types of issues Chris, and maybe that's what you should look into possibly? There is nothing wrong about going or asking for help mentally, or physically Chris. It's just life, and that's the way it is bud. You can always go talk with a Psychiatrist about your problems, and they can offer MUCH better advice then any of us on NGU can.

Chris, I hope everything turns out alright for you, and you and I haven't been friends for very long, but judging from previous communicating with you, you seem like a really nice guy, and would hope for the best to come from anyone. Again, I hope you get some help Chris, and good luck bud. Smile
09-12-2012, 06:48 PM #7
iChris
Little One
Originally posted by Mr
Chris,

I am sorry to hear about your loss bud, I truly am, and I do wish the very best for you. Now, I am not going to say "I know how you feel" because personally, I hate it when people say that because they DON'T know how I feel at all. Every single person that exist on this world has different emotions and different feelings for each other. I can understand what you're going through, and I know it sucks Chris. I have been in the same type of situation before, and believe me, moving on is the hardest thing about relation ships in my opinion and I seriously truly think it is.

Chris, most of us all have went through some kind of tough relationship in our lives, rather it be losing a family member, fighting with family, friends, spouses, etc. They all suck and it hurts, we all know this because we have almost ALL been through it bud.

What your going through sounds like a thing lots of people call "depression" and that's mostly where you are always feeling alone, bored, sad, upset, and even in some cases, angry. Some cases turn out to be severe and cause thoughts of suicidal, hurting yourself, or harming even others. This is where it gets dangerous, but I really hope your not going through that stage of depression.

Some people seek help for these types of issues Chris, and maybe that's what you should look into possibly? There is nothing wrong about going or asking for help mentally, or physically Chris. It's just life, and that's the way it is bud. You can always go talk with a Psychiatrist about your problems, and they can offer MUCH better advice then any of us on NGU can.

Chris, I hope everything turns out alright for you, and you and I haven't been friends for very long, but judging from previous communicating with you, you seem like a really nice guy, and would hope for the best to come from anyone. Again, I hope you get some help Chris, and good luck bud. Smile


I appreciate that, mate I really do! I've just been to the docs, he's given me Amitryptaline to begin with, 25mg and has also referred me for counselling sessions.. The doctor reckons I'm severely depressed, although I don't have suicidal thoughts/tendancies, death seems like the best option. I will never take such an option, it'd be selfish and I could never put anyone who cares about me or loves me through that kind of ordeal.

My partner left about 10 mins ago, we left it on a good note and she did say maybe in a year maybe not. I don't want to hold onto something that will potentially destroy me, so I've decided to take the route of getting out the house every now and then just to begin with, like "forget" to buy something from the shops gives me an excuse to go out either later that day or the following day; just as something to keep me occupied.

The following 3 users say thank you to iChris for this useful post:

-Luke, Cubs, welliegs
09-12-2012, 07:08 PM #8
tfw no gf .
09-12-2012, 07:14 PM #9
Zut Culdon
Bounty hunter
Originally posted by iChris View Post
Last night my fiance and myself broke up, permanently. We've had so many issues in the past and tried to work through it but in reality we only temporarily hid it. We've been speaking a fair bit today mainly on my part because I can't let go just like that. I've been an emotional wreck since the break up and I don't know what to think or do. I guess I'm really posting here looking for some friendly advice or tips on how to cope with this kind of dilemma. She's coming over tonight to get some of her things and to see me, mainly because I've asked to see her due to the last time I seen her it wasn't exactly nice or something nice to remember her by nor for her to remember me by. I've got a lot of personal issues, from reading online to taking advice from family and so forth I can only presume I'm bipolar or majorly depressed, something is definitely wrong. She also told me that maybe after a year or so she'd reconsider ending it and begin another relationship. I think she's saying that not to hurt my feelings because after that length of time I'll have loosened up a bit and be less emotional and such. I just can't stop thinking about all of the little things we share together, looking at her clothes around the house and generally everything I look at has some resemblance to a time we spent together.

I know I can't remain in constant contact with her because in the long-run it makes it much harder to deal with and get over or move on. But I just feel I want to be speaking to her non-stop, she knows how to make me feel better and calm me down, where-as when I speak to my mum or anyone else in my family they're not too keen on expressing a sympathetic opinion or anything, and, I know that perhaps that's better for me; it'd be nice for every now and then for someone to care just a little bit extra.

I've got no family down here (England), all of my family live in Scotland but I moved down here primarily to begin a new life, with my now-ex. I want to remain here, I have a flat and a decent job, although I'm going to be :fa: I just need support from anyone and from anywhere, hence this post.

Please don't troll.


I can only speak from personal experiences. Keep your head up. You may have some issues, but it takes two people to make it happen or poison the well. You both have faults in the relationship...not just you. Work on your career and make it work for you in England. Give plenty of space between you too. Try not to rebound...the pain will only intensify. Take your time, young blood. This agony will pass...and life will go on. My 0.02 cents.
09-12-2012, 09:21 PM #10
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MLB
Guest
I'm very sorry for this, never a good thing, hopefully all goes well for you. :y:

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