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What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re so pointless
What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder
I heard two peanuts walked into a park…
one was a salted
A boiled egg in the morning…
is really hard to beat
I’m reading a book on antigravity.
It’s impossible to put down
It’s not that the guy didn’t know how to juggle.
He just didn’t have the balls to do it
I’m glad I know sign language.
It’s become quite handy
I forgot how to throw a boomerang…
but it came back to me
When a clock is hungry.
It goes back four seconds
I once heard a joke about amnesia.
But I forget how it goes
When the power went out at the school…
the children were delighted
Those fish were shy.
They were obviously Koi
Those two men drinking battery acid…
will soon be charged
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Tis’ the C
The midget psychic escaped the prison.
He was a small medium at large
I’m inclined to be laid back
Newspaper headline reads “cartoonist found dead at home”
details are sketchy
The magician who got frustrated…
pulled his hair out
The frustrated cannibal…
threw up his hands
The criminal’s best asset…
is his liability
I didn’t have the faintest idea, as to why I passed out
Heard about the guy who got hit with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink
There was once a cross eyed teacher…
who had trouble controlling his pupils
Diarrhea is hereditary.
It runs in your genes