World Cup Jokes

[Quantum_]

I have created a thread to post all your World Cup jokes.


Vuvezula - Annoying People Since 1660


1. Whats the diffrence between the England team and a teabag?

Spoiler:

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

2. Whats the diffrence between the England team and aids?

Spoiler:

Aids are still in South Africa.

3. Why aren't the England team allowed dogs?

Spoiler:

Because they can't hold onto a lead.

4. The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged six.


5. Osama Bin laden has just appeared in a new T.V. message proving he is still alive. He said, 'The English football team were shit again'. British intelligence have dismissed it, saying it could have been recorded at any time in the last 44 years.


6. John Terry said: "The whole defence is behind Rob Green." With hindsight, that's a good place to stand.

7. The Scotland manager phones Sven to find out how to improve his training methods.

"Dustbins" says Sven, "Position dustbins around the training pitch and get your players to pass the ball between them, dribble round them, chip the ball over them, it'll improve all round ball control".

The next day Sven's phone rings, it's the Scottish manager, "Hi, The dustbin's are winning 3-1. What do I do now?"

8. (Not world cup but still funny) David Beckham is celebrating, "43 days! 43 days!" he shouts happily.

Posh asks him why he's celebrating. He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"And that's good?" asks Posh.

"You bet Hon" says David, "It says 3 to 6 years on the box."

---------------Added By Other People---------------

9. Why was Fabio Capello drinking off a plate during South Africa?

Spoiler:

All his mugs were on the pitch. Suggested by kDz.

10. What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney?

Spoiler:

The jet engine eventually stops whining Suggested by kDz.

11. Some blokes were playing on the playstation on Fifa World Cup 2010 and were suprised to notice how realistic the game play of England realy was. But they then found out the ps3 handset was turned off. Suggested by -Smithy-

12. My mate asked me if I saw the England goal. Unfortunately I missed it, I was too busy refereeing the match! Suggested by Aresenal2k7



Post any more you have and they may get added to the thread!

[-Smithy-]

A boy was in court and the judge asked him if he would like to stay and live with his mum. The boy said 'no, she beats me'. The judge then asked if the little boy would like to live with his dad. The boy said with a sigh 'No, he beats me'. The judge asked who he would like to live with. The boy said 'The England football team, because they can't beat anyone'.


Goshhh. What a cracker ! =D Haha

[Quantum_]

Whats the diffrence between the German Football team & the English football team.
3 GOALS!

AHAHAHHAHA GERMANY WON!!!ELEVENONE!!!

HAHA, nice one. =D

Not adding any more to thread just now, I'm keeping some room.

[Killakk]

Nice thread mate
Thanked and Nominated

[Quantum_]

Nice thread mate
Thanked and Nominated

Cheers mate.

[Wipeouted]

Those jokes ar very good!!

[Quantum_]

Those jokes ar very good!!

Thank you.

[Enfield]

Lmao these jokes are hilarious, especialy germany vs england xD

[arsenal2k7]

My mate asked me if I saw the England goal.

Unfortunately I missed it, I was too busy refereeing the match.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Substituting Defoe for Heskey when you need goals?

That's like switching off the porn when you fancy a wank.

[-Andre-]

The world cup is like world war 2.
The french were out early, the americans came back at the last minute and England were left with the Germans!

[-turbo30-]

u a joke...