"That's the last leg you'll ever hump freak dog."
— When he kills a hellhound.

"Discounted killing! Oorah!"
— Upon getting a Fire Sale

"We need to turn the power on! It's like deja vu all over again."
— Start of a game

"No power, no glory."
— Start of a game

"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... ugh."
— Buying Quick Revive

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"
— Firing the Thundergun

"NUUUUKE!"
— Getting a nuke

"RE-JUICE!"
— Getting max ammo

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo glorious"
— When out of ammo

"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"
— Getting Max Ammo

"Lets send those freakbags back to 1946!"
— Randomly said when killing zombies with the thundergun.

"Reach for me, Jugger-Girl...oo-rah."
— After getting Juggernog.

"Whatever...even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."
— After being revived.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"
— upon receiving a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"K to the I to the A Zombitch!"
— Randomly when killing zombies.

"A tale of two Dempseys, starts slow but has a happy ending."
— Upon examining his portrait.

"How come Richtofen's portrait is bigger? Must trying to compensate for something."
— After pressing the action button on Richtofen's portrait

"Hey look! It's nobody!"
— After pressing the action button on the black figure's portrait

"Ah great, this again."
— When a hellround starts.

"Hey player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"
— When out of ammo

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"
— -Upon getting the monkey bomb.

"The only thing better than an M16 is, well, two M16s!"
— Upon buying an M16.

"Eat it ya nasty squag!"
— When killing a gas zombie with a headshot.

"If I keep this up I'm gonna run out of zombies!"
— Upon getting a string of headshots.

"Ahh **** me that smells!"
— After killing a Gas Zombie

"Awww, our little bundle of badass."
— After pressing the action button on Takeo's portrait

"Oh, looks like Nikolai has put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"
— After pressing the action button on Nikolai's portrait

"F@ck you, Fido!"
— Said randomly after killing a Hellhound.

"Man I wish we could turn Richtofen into a hot chick, I'm startin to get lonely."
— Said randomly when using the Pack-a-punch machine

"First you take my money and then disappear..Kind of like my forth wife!"
— Teddy Bear from box.

"Please, I have no job!"
— After attempting to buy without enough points

"What? That stripper must've stolen my money!"
— After attempting to buy without enough points

"Stay away from my vodka! ...What? It's a classic!"
— Blowing up a group of zombies with an explosive weapon.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like first date! ...I bring home flowers!"
— Getting an explosive weapon out of the mystery box

"You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ahh **** you!"
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"Have a round on me! Get it? A "round"? Eh.. never mind, **** you."
— Getting a headshot

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"You know how to say owned in Russian? OWNT!"
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"No touchie! ...I have issues."
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy"
— Buying Quick Revive

"What's that clicking? Oh, ammo!"
— Out of ammo.

"Out of my way Piz'da!"
— After killing a zombie (Note- Piz'da means '****' in Russian)

"This is like standing in grocery line!"
— Waiting for Pack-a-Punch.

"Snipers may wear diapers, but they get all the ladies!"
— Sometimes after getting M14 off the wall.

"Ahhh, that smells terrible. Kind of like my sixth wife, she was pretty though. Smelly and pretty, weird combination"
— Said after killing a gas zombie.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"
— Receiving Pack-a-Punch weapon.

"Hello beautiful, I'll 'cock' you gently"
— Sometimes said after buying an M14 from the wall.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"
— Receiving weapon from Pack-a-Punch

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"
— Said when game starts.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. mmm... vodka."
— When a hellround starts.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"
— After killing multiple zombies

"No power! Just like home."
— Start of a game.

"Why am I so heavy now?"
— after getting a Max Ammo

"They're trying to fetch our souls again!"
— at the start of a Hellround

"Holding this up makes my arms so tired!"
— upon purchasing the M14

"NO! NO VODKA FOR YOU!"
— random killing zombies

"You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"
— random killing zombies

"This is nice and light...'"
— upon purchasing MPL

"Why is no-one caring about my lack of ammo?"
— no ammo

"Just what the doctor ordered!"
— on receiving a Max Ammo

"Oh, I feel stupid..."
— upon being downed/killed

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."
— Out of ammo

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"
— when revived

"How do you say... "Thank you" in Idiot?"
— when revived

"You see what happened to me? There were thousands!"
— when revived

"You don't want my soul. It probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."
— Start of a Hellhound round

"Well, they say the camera puts on 10 pounds."
— When looking at his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"
— When looking at Dempsey's portrait

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this picture"
— When looking at Richtofen's portrait

"I hate you, Takeo."
— When looking at Takeo's portrait

"Hey! Someone took the picture!"
— When looking at the blank portrait

"I have made mess in my trousers."
— Upon getting downed/killed

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."
— Upon getting Juggernog

"Die, before Nikolai! Hey, that rhymes!"
— After getting a kill while Insta-Kill is active.

"Oh baby... we do the 59 eh? He he..."
— Upon getting an SMG

"Out of my way, suka!"
— Upon killing a hellhound(note that suka means bitch in Russian.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..."
— After being revived.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."
— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Hey, what's that? Oh, crawler!"
— Being attacked by a crawling zombie.

"Ah, two pistols are better than one! And one pistol is better than... what?"
— Getting dual pistols from the mystery box.

"The Fist of Stalin... up your ass "
— Random when Killing Zombies

"I hate this FN gun! Get it? 'Cause it's...eh, nevermind.""
— After taking the FN FAL from the Mystery Box.

"We need to bring light to this dark place."
— Start of a game

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"
— Getting the monkey bomb

"I will show them the path!"
— Getting the MPL

"A picture of a great warrior!"
— Upon examining his portrait.

"Honour to the doctor!"
— Upon examining Richtofen's portrait

"The Russian is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"
— Upon examining Nikolai's portrait

"I need more honor!"
— Attempting to open a door/buy a weapon without enough points

"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette"
— Buying Quick Revive

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."
— When out of ammo.

"That will keep them out for a thousand years... eh, a few seconds."
— Takeo after getting the Carpenter power up.

"I cannot be defeated!...probably.."
— Getting a random weapon

"You kill me? No! I kill you."
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"
— Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"
— Getting a nuke

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"
— Out of ammo

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"
— Buying an SMG off the wall

"My honor is bigger than yours!"
— random

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"
— After Headshot

"Pew pew pew, ha ha ha."
— After killing zombies with the Ray Gun

"I take your pain and I put in my straw in it *slurping noises* and I drink it up!"
— After killing a group of zombies.

"What? The voices are louder!"
— Buying a weapon

"Dempsey. I hate you. I hate your ugly voice."
— Randomly when Dempsey talks.

"A gift from Sam? But why?!"
— Getting Max Ammo

"For the revival of the un-fittest!"
— Buying Quick Revive

"Blood! The beautiful BLOOD!"
— Randomly said when killing zombies.

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"
— After being revived.

"Without bullets I will have to resort to....STABBING!"
— After running out of ammo with any weapon

"My mother told me to stop hurting animals."
— After killing a hellhound

"Go back to Maxis, Samantha!"
— After killing a hellhound.

"Mommy told me not to hurt animals any more!"
— At the beginning of a hellhound round

"And, he is no longer with us."
— After killing a zombie.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"
— When out of ammo

"I am nothing but a peasant!"
— When attempting to buy something without enough points.

"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."
— When attempting to buy something without enough points

"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! And none for you, Dempsey"
— When buying the M14

"He went "splat""
— When killing a zombie with the Olympia

"Yes, COME TO ME, minions!"
— Random

"Aww, the poor puppies!"
— During the beginning of a HellHound round

"They are hurting... we must help them!"
— Random

"Look at it, crawling to me!"
— After dismembering a zombie

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."
— After dismembering a zombie

"Yes, YES, explode!"
— When killing a zombie with an explosive

"It hurts, doesn't it? GOOD!"
— When killing a zombie

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"
— When blowing up zombies

"*Whistling*"
— when waiting for the pack-a-punch machine

"I'm going to kill SOOOOO many now."
— When receiving a pack-a-punched weapon

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... on death!"
— Said when obtaining the Fire Sale.

"The flames... of the damned!"
— Getting a nuke

"How can I hear the screams when it has no mouth?"
— Occasionally after getting a headshot

"They will submit to darkness...YES!"
— After receiving an LMG

"Do you feel it? Oh I hope you did..."
— After killing a zombie

"Samantha, I talked to you about this."
— Said when a teddy bear is acquired in the mystery box

"This is MY creation! And I will destroy it! AND clean it up!"
— Multiple kills

"How can I be running out of ammo?!"
— When running low on ammo

"No ammo is no fun!"
— When out of ammo

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"
— Picking up the Olympia

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"
— Getting a Thundergun

"They will be all over the walls! And the ceiling! And the floor!"
— Getting a Crossbow w/Explosive Bolts

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"
— When obtaining Max Ammo

"(impatiently)Ja, ja, ja, the power's off and we need to turn it back on."
— When game starts

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."
— When buying the M14

"Get off my legs, minion!"
— When being attacked by a crawler

"Just DIE!"
— When being attacked by a crawler

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"
— When killing a zombie after being hit

"Oh joy! No power!"
— Game starting.

"Oh look, its me...but not quite as magnificent!"
— When looking at his Portrait

"Oh its a picture of the monkey bomb!"
— When looking at Takeo's Portrait

"Its eyes are following me!"
— When looking at Nikolai's Portrait

"Hello Dempsey..oh wait..its just a portrait...AN UGLY ONE!"
— When looking at Dempsey's Portrait

"This one did not photograph so well."
— When looking at the blank portrait.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"
— After getting the Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"
— Getting the Thundergun

"The Fatherland would be so proud! Such a shame......"
— After receiving a pack-a-punched weapon.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"
— Buying an M14.

"You remind me of patient 2-6... only with less noise when I stick things into you."
— Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb.

"All hail the Fuhrer...(singing)"
— Upon detonation of an explosive that killed a zombie.

"No more doctor nice guy!"
— Multikill

"Ammo to the max ja?"
— After getting a Max Ammo

"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"
— Randomly when hit by a zombie.

"I cannot torture my minions without power. Dempsey, you go turn it on."
— Starting a Game.

"Fountains of sorrow..."
— Said randomly.

"We'll be judge more by what we do here than anywhere else."
— At the beginning.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, so hit the power!"
— At the beginning.

"Somebody call the department of energy, we need power!"
— At the beginning.

"Pain is temporary, pride is forever!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"They should put my face on the silver dollar."
— Upon getting a kill.

"Fail miserably, achieve greatly!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"Who's the President now, stale-skin?"
— Upon getting a kill.

"Executive Order 112477: DIE!"
— Upon killing a crawler

"Just like the Solomon isles."
— Upon getting a kill; Kennedy served in the navy during World War II.

"Ich bin ein Berliner."
— Upon getting a kill; from Kennedy's speech in West Berlin, meaning

"I am a citizen of Berlin".

"Forgive one's enemies, but Never! Ever! Forget their names!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"I'll put that limb next to my Pulitzer."
— Sometimes said upon shooting a zombie's arm off.

"Ah! The smell! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."
— Upon killing a Gas Zombie.

"Do not negotiate with a zombie with fear, but with bullets!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"I am all that is man!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"You don't lose an arm on my account!"
— After shooting a zombie's arm off.

"*sings* Oh say can you see... BOOM!"
— After a explosive kill.

"Bombs for the zombs!"
— After a explosive kill.

"By the dawn's early light-BABOOM!"
— After an explosive kill.

"Do I look like I have a foot fetish?"
— When attacked by a crawling zombie.

"No ammo, pass the buck!"
— When out of ammo. Reference to Harry Truman's "The Buck Stops Here" sign on his Presidential Desk.

"Your president needs slugs!"
— When out of ammo.

"Ammo! That's an order!"
— When out of ammo.

"I like this, a lot."
— Upon buying an MP5K off the wall.

"A most perfect weapon."
— Upon buying an MPL off the wall.

"I should keep one of these under my desk at the Oval office."
— Upon buying an SMG off the wall.

"C'mon, I'm good for it!"
— When trying to buy an item he does not have enough points to buy.

"Time to make some Z chowder."
— Upon buying an Olympia off the wall

"This is my sword, my Excalibur."
— Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Matures ride shotgun."
— Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"But I want it!"
— When he tries to buy a weapon for which he doesn't have enough money.

"When efforts and courage are not enough, (sighs) a shotgun helps."
— Upon buying a shotgun off the wall.

"I'm an idealist...with a sniper rifle."
— When buying an M14; a reference to his assassin.

"As Teddy Roosevelt once said: work softly and carry a BFG!"
— Getting a Commando from the Mystery Box. Reference to Theodore Roosevelt's "Big Stick" Diplomacy.

"Ah, just what the doctor ordered."
— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Your country thanks you."
— Upon getting a Max Ammo.

"M to the A to the D!"
— Upon getting a nuke power-up.

"And that is how you push the button!"
— Upon getting a nuke power-up.

"Double the pleasure, double the pain."
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I'm seeing in two's!"
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Can you dig it?"
— Upon getting a Insta-kill power-up. This line may be a reference to the cult classic film The Warriors, as the phrase is first used in the film.

"Builds faster than a Communist building a wall!"
— Getting a Carpenter power-up; a reference to the Berlin Wall.

"The time to repair the barricade is when the sun is shining."
— Getting a Carpenter power-up.

"I've been in the navy for years and I've never tasted anything that fishy."
— Upon buying Quick Revive.

"Hail to the chief!"
— Upon buying Jugger-nog

"My country thanks you."
— Upon being revived.

"I never hoped for an easy life, just to be a stronger man."
— Upon being revived.

"Huh? I was just resting my eyes."
— Upon being revived.

"Back and better than ever!"
— Upon being revived.

"Ask not what your gun can do for you, but what you can do for your gun!"
— Waiting for Pack-a-Punch.

"You can only get this close if I get your votes!"
— After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"On this earth, God's work is in our hands. Hazzah!"
— After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"I know there is a devil, for I see a storm coming, and his hand is in it!"
— After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"Everyone, concentrate fire on McNamara!"
— If McNamara has the most points.

"Castro is surrounded, everyone point and laugh."
— When Castro is downed.

"The beast of Boston..Argh!"
— Random

"Im the president of the United States. Open!"
— When trying to open a door without the needed points.

"How you won a revolution is beyond me!"
— Castro is swarmed

"Uh, can we go find the power switch?"
— At the beginning.

"No hugs for you."
— After killing an approaching zombie.

"No, you cannot have a hug."
— After killing an approaching zombie.

"You can't stop Tricky Dick!"
— When being attacked by zombies. A reference to the nickname he received by Helen Gahagan Douglas, the Democratic-Republican running against him.

"Einey Meiney Mieney DIE!"
— When killing zombies.

"One potato two potato three potato BANG!"
— After killing a zombie.

"America! Hell yes."
— After killing a zombie.

"I've never been a quitter."
— After killing a zombie.

"Zed head's dead!"
— After killing a zombie. A reference to Pulp Fiction.

"Give me what I want!"
— After killing a zombie.

"I want your blood and I want your vote!"
— After killing a zombie.

"That's right, you better die."
— After killing a zombie.

"Hello Mr. Hippie, I expect you to die."
— After killing a zombie. Reference to infamous James Bond quote.

"Got your gobble gobble right here freak!"
— After killing a zombie.

"By taking this action, I hope I have hastened the start of healing."
— After killing a zombie.

"If only you had a vote..."
— After killing a zombie.

"Pick that up hippie!"
— After killing a zombie.

"As the hippies say, I come in peace man."
— After killing a zombie.

"WHAT?! WHAT?! Oh, I did that on purpose, okay?"
— Random

"Now that's what I call a bullet sponge."
— After killing a zombie with a Ray Gun.

"Yes! What can't this Ray Gun do?"
— After killing a zombie with a Ray Gun.

"Mwahahahahahah!"
— After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"BOOM! Goes the explosive."
— After killing a zombie with a grenade. Reference to an internet
meme in which a newscaster would drop all his lines.

"I did that on purpose. But, but I did."
— After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"Can't you maggots explode quietly?"
— After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"Ugh, boogie guts all over me."
— After killing a zombie that was close-by.

"That's as close as you get. compadre."
— After killing a zombie that was close-by.

"Take no risks, suffer no defeats! Take no risks, win no victories!"
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Killcam! Where's my killcam?!"
— After killing multiple zombies. A reference to the multiplayer FPS
game mode.

"I am that good."
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Yea, yea, I'm good. Tell me something I don't know."
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Shut up! Just shut up!"
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Oh look at the filthy carpets."
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Look what you made me do."
— After killing a zombie that just hit him.

"Back to the Ice Age!"
— After hitting a zombie with the Winter's Howl or Winter's Fury.

"I kicked him in his ice hole."
— After hitting a zombie with the Winter's Howl or Winter's Fury.

"C'mon! You're not dead yet? Really?"
— After hitting a zombie multiple times with a knife.

"Lets cuddle!"
— After killing a zombie with a knife.

"Gotcha!"
— After killing a zombie with a knife.

"Disgusting."
— After killing zombie with a knife.

"I've had it up to here with you carpet baggers."
— After killing a crawler.

"I hate aiming so low, it hurts my back."
— After killing a gas zombie.

"Now that was with my eyes closed."
— Sometimes said when getting a head shot.

"Now come on, you're making a mess."
— Sometimes said when getting a head shot.

"Aroo!"
— Sometimes said when attacked by zombies/scoring a lot of kills. A
reference to TV show Futurama.

"No Touchy"
— After a zombie hits him.

"You dare touch a Quaker?"
— After a zombie hits him.

"Get off me you hippie!"
— After a zombie hits him.

"Son, I am sick of this shit!"
— After a crawler hits him.

"Back Off! These are Italian"
— When attacked by a crawling zombie

"Go get a job hippie!"
— After a crawler hits him.

"Hey, hey, hey! These shoes are Italian!"
— After a crawler hits him.

"Get off my legs!"
— After a crawler hits him.

"Who's got the mukluks? These things are making a mess!"
— After a crawler hits him.

"Richard Nixon is not part of a complete breakfast!"
— Sometimes said after evading a zombie attack.

"Gotta learn how to survive defeat, that's how you develop character"
— Sometimes said after evading a zombie attack.

"Never learn how to accept defeat. *That's* how you develop courage."
— After a near-death experience.

"Jack is the handsome one, get him!"
— Random.

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for some extra rounds today."
— When running low on ammo. (Popeye reference)

"Gonna get real intimate if I can't find ammo."
— When running low on ammo.

"Pass the ammo please. I said PLEASE!"
— When running low on ammo.

"We'll all die soon if I don't find some rounds!"
— When running low on ammo.

"Damn you hippies, I'm out of ammo!"
— When out of ammo.

"Empty! I'm empty dagnabbit!"
— When out of ammo.

"Who needs ammo when you have looks like mine?"
— When out of ammo.

"Men, I'm out!"
— When out of ammo.

"What is this nonsense? Where are my rounds?!"
— When out of ammo.

"I may be down, but I'm not out!"
— After getting downed.

"I'm not dead! Not yet!"
— After getting downed.

"NOOOO!"
— After getting downed.

"Nixon's back!"
— Upon being revived.

"I'm not finished yet!"
— Upon being revived.

"Meat is and anagram for team you know."
— Upon being revived.

"A man is not finished when defeated, only when he quits."
— Upon being revived.

"Give me a rifle so I can kill all the hippies I see!"
— After buying an M14 off the wall.

"I'm gonna love it, and hug it, and call it Checkers!"
— After buying an M14 off the wall.

"Lets turn those rotten empty heads inside out."
— After buying an M14 off the wall.

"Perfect! I can keep my distance from this mess."
— After buying an M14 off the wall.

"Ergh, I get to see the whites of their eyes."
— After buying an M14 off the wall. This is ironic, however, since the
M14 is a long-range weapon and seeing the whites of your opponents eyes refers to getting close to them. Also, zombies do not appear to have white in their eyes, rather glowing yellow.

"Guts will be spilled!"
— After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Alright, lets get this over with."
— After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Alright, who wants a buckshot rye?"
— After buying a Stakeout off the wall.

"People who like this kind of thing will find this as a sort of thing they like."
— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"That's it? Only one?!"
— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Here comes the Nix'!"
— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Yes, I get it. I have to go fight now!"
— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Well this I can work with."
— After buying an MP5K off the wall.

"With this i'm going to gut me some zombies and use there spines as hats!...Actually, thats quite disgusting."
— After purchasing the bowie knife.

"I guess this means I have to help..."
— After drinking Quick Revive.

"I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook!"
— After drinking Speed Cola.

"Ooh, I feel good now."
— After drinking JuggerNog.

"Who said that?"
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I don't need your stinking points, I need your votes."
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"There's a catch, isn't there?"
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"That's it? Max is all I get?"
— After getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This means I have to keep fighting doesn't it?"
— After getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Die!"
— After getting an Instant Kill power-up.

"Nixon's revenge!"
— After getting an Instant Kill power-up.

"Now we're talking."
— After getting an Instant Kill power-up or Death Machine power-up.

"Blow it away!"
— After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Nuke-a-da-roo-co"
— After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Nuke-a-doodle-do"
— After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Finally, getting some help around here."
— After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Keep it down up there!"
— After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"What's with the racket?!"
— After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"OK, maybe we have a few seconds."
— After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Oh, I'll take it."
— After getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"This is me waiting... This is me waiting on drugs... HURRY THE **** UP!"
— While using the Pack-A-Punch machine. Reference to 1980's Presidential Anti-Drug campaign.

"Tick-tock! Tick-tock! Tick-tock! I'm gonna kick you in the *cough*!"
— While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Hurry up! Hurry up."
— While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"This better be good...It cost enough."
— While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"This is how you pack-a-punch."
— After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Bring on the hippies! The commies! The commies and the hippies! Bah! Both of them!"
— After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"It took you long enough damn machine thingy."
— After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"I might actually smile...*might*."
— After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"That's right...you're going to give me what I want."
— After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Wait what?! I deserve a celebrity discount!"
— Not enough money to Pack-A-Punch a weapon.

"I Really need to send one of these to the USMC."
— When Getting an Upgraded Ray Gun

"Communist! Open the damn box!"
— Not enough money to buy the Mystery Box.

"I'm being treated like a crook!"
— After getting a CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"This I can work with"
— After getting a Spectre from the Mystery Box.

"This gift better keep on giving!"
— After getting a Galil from the Mystery Box.

"Somebody likes me!...I think."
— After getting a China Lake from the Mystery Box.

"Uh, good enough, I suppose"
— After getting a Commando from the Mystery Box.

"Uh, stay frosty!"
— After getting the Winter's Howl from the Mystery Box.

"Just when I was beginning to like you..."
— After getting the Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Solutions are not the answer...Wait a minute, did I miss anything?"
— After getting a Spas-12 from the Mystery Box.

"What kind of box is this?"
— After Teddy bear.

"Argh...Taxing me like a democrat!"
— Not enough money to buy a weapon or barrier.

"The bloodiest wars in history were fought with buttercups, and hippies!"
— Random

"Smack 'Em with your beard, and Burn 'em with your stogie, Fidel!"
— Possibly Random.

"Will someone please find the power!?"
— At the beginning.

"Batteries were clearly not included!"
— At the beginning.

"Only a capitalist nation would deprive their people of power."
— At the beginning.

"You remind me of my comrade Che"
— To McNamara/Very Rare

"Bullets, bullets! My republic for some bullets!"
— When out of ammo. This is a reference to William Shakespeare's
play "Richard III".

"You dare overprice this!?"
— When without enough points to buy something.

"If I were in Cuba this wouldn't happen!"
— When without enough points to buy something.

"There can be no revolution without ammunition!"
— When out of ammo.

"No ammo? Time for a cigar break then!"
— When out of ammo.

"I'm out! Knife work it is then!"
— When out of ammo.

"No more ammo? Fine, I will crush them with my fist!"
— When out of ammo.

"Like the revolution I will never die!"
— When being revived.

"This weapon suits my disposition!"
— Upon buying the M14 off the wall.

"Get your putrid fingers off my uniform... you filthy flesh eaters!"
— Upon getting hit by zombies.

"Touch me again and I will kill you again!"
— Upon getting hit by a zombie.

"No man should live past the time where his body begins to deteriorate!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"Viva la Revolucion!"
— Upon getting a kill. ("Long live the revolution" in Spanish.)

"I'll use your stale skin to wrap my cigars!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"Oh yeah!"
— Upon getting a kill.

"Time to die, zombie putas!"
— Upon getting a kill; "puta" means "whore" in Spanish.

"Double Points? Only a capitalist pig would want more than what he is given."
— After getting a Double Points power-up.

"MARICON! (Faggot in Spanish)"
— Said randomly.

"For Cuba!"
— Knife kill

"They fall as easly as Batista, ha-ha!"
— Kill spree

"Not for a billion capitalists dollars would I give up this work of art!"
— Gettin a Ray Gun.

"Damn you Khrushchev for denying me this!"
— After Nuke.

"I only accept this rise for the sake of the people!"
— After Double Points.

"Just like the one I keep under my bed!"
— After buying a Stakeout.

"Who needs Khrushchev missiles when I have this?"
— After China Lake.

"Lesson 10: Never say never!"
— When downed.

"In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil."
— When buying a Stakeout.

"U-S-A! U-S-A!"
— Knife kill

"SMG! Recommended use: short bursts for maximum elicitation of death."
— After buying an SMG.

"Damn, my math was wrong!"
— When attempting to open a door without requisite money

"Insufficient funds..."
— When attempting to use the Mystery Box without requisite money.

"Not enough money? Time to re-examine the budget!"
— When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite money.

"Two times zero is still zero!"
— When a double points is obtained and the player has no ammo.

"They didn't call me the wiz kid for nothing."
— After killing multiple zombies

"Guess I shouldn't have made those budget cuts."
— When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite money

"An automatic carbine designed to fire pistol cartridges...genius!"
— When buying an MP5K or MPL

"Chance of you touching me again is ZERO!"
— After killing a zombie that has attacked him

"My accountant says I need to find some rounds."
— When out of ammo.

"It's night time."
— Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"Die again, and again, and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!"
— After killing multiple zombies.

"Each zombie's death is another man's living."
— After a kill.

"I calculate success."
— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"No more Mr. Nice Secretary!"
— After getting a weapon from Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Your death creates a nauseating Fog of War"
— After killing a Gas Zombie, obvious reference to McNamara's documentary: The Fog of War

"This reminds me of Step 6: Get the data!"
— While waiting for the Pack-A-Punch machine. This is one of the lessons shown in the documentary The Fog of War.

"Things that go boom, usually die."
— Upon getting an explosive kill.

@xSync Nice thread :y: Ignore the other fags..Also are these quotes from Kino?

@nickvth2009 Im going to assume your nine from your grammar and word choice so GTFO and come back when your balls drop :y: