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I had to post this on here but also clearly illustrate that it's not my post as knowing the amount of special retards here it'd be taken seriously if I posted it as myself.
Here is a quote of the post for anybody that'd prefer reading it from this shit
Spoiler:
First of all I just want to say how embarrassing this was and how I never want anyone to know about this, nobody knows me on here so it's fine and I don't have any pics of myself. I certainly won't be posting any pics of her because then you could easily find me (if you found her first). But I do have pics of the conversation.
Yesterday I was hanging out with my girlfriend (ex now), we went bowling and then went to a pizza restaurant. It really was a great day, everything just felt so right and we were getting on so well. So it got to around 7PM when we were finishing eating and she asked if she could come back to my house. I just played it cool and said sure, but on the way home she went into a shop and told me to wait outside. I could see through the glass that she had bought something from behind the till. I just knew she was buying condoms and wanted to do something at my house. So all the way home I was feeling kind of nervous but not showing it, I'd never done anything with a girl before. So when we got home my dad was downstairs watching sports with a beer and I knew it was safe to do whatever without the chances of him coming upstairs.
So we walked upstairs and it just felt like a weird dream, I couldn't believe this was actually happening. We went into my room and she just smiled at me and started hugging me. Before I knew it we were lying on the bed and she was grinding on me, so we were dry humping along before she started removing her shirt, then her shorts etc. She pulled the condoms out of her bag and smiled, she opened it and pulled it out, then she pulled down my boxer briefs and started to roll it on. But it was at this point when I was so turned on after she'd been dry humping me for the last 10 mins that I could feel myself wanting to blow my load. It seemed like the longest 5 seconds in my life but I couldn't stop myself any longer, I started jizzing while the condom was half on me and she just looked at me in disbelief, while this was happening I suddenly let out a couple of farts, not on purpose they just came out from nowhere and I couldn't help it. Now she was just like wtf and had a face of disgust. I honestly have never been so embarrassed in my whole life. She asked what the hell was that and I apologised but she just stopped talking to me and put her clothes on, grabbed her stuff then left.
Here is the conversation I started today when I had finally mustered up enough courage to contact her.
(can someone please embed the pics?)
You will be the only people that I ever share this with and I am just gonna put it all behind me and forget it ever happened.
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.Gaia (09-16-2011), AssFlubber (09-17-2011), AyeeLG (09-19-2011), Bomb789 (09-18-2011), Chronos (09-16-2011), Classy. (09-16-2011), Cpt.Slow (09-18-2011), Cryptic Soldier (09-16-2011), Cudder (09-15-2011), Dexgod (09-17-2011), FAKA_ELITE (09-19-2011), juddylovespizza (09-15-2011), Night Wolf (09-17-2011), ogbrandon (09-17-2011), Outlaw (09-16-2011), Phrenzy (09-16-2011), Sempiternal (09-16-2011)

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That's pretty nasty, I feel bad for the guy though.
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Um wow :lol:
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Looooooooooooooool
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LOL very unexpected.Good luck to that guy.
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Wow i feel bad for them both
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Prematurely blowing it is one thing... but FARTING?! Damn you've got some balls.![]()
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Thats everys virgin's worst fear, well maybe not exactly like that.

Did anyone else think it's weird that the farting turned her off? Since when have chicks not been into that?
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